The First Defiance
by SaidbhinLuch
Summary: A story starting with Lily's first defiance and the summer afterwards. A tiny bit of language but nothing major. Very much a Jily story.
There would be moments when Lily would think back to her first meeting with Lord Voldemort. Even up until her dying day she would never see those memories in full. Simply snapshot moments. Images and feelings about that day. Healers would say she locked away most of those memories because of the inherent trauma. Lily never agreed with that sentiment. Those flashes were so intense that she couldn't process it.

Joy. Embarrassment. Affection. Laughter.

The overwhelming sensation of cold.

Bewilderment.

The Natural History Museum exploding in front of her.

Anger. Pain. Panic.

A tiny stained toy dinosaur.

Her parents' unconscious on the ground.

Red eyes burning.

A single voice calling out.

" _ **LILY!"**_

The day had started at a family celebration. Well most of the family.

'It's such a pity that Petunia couldn't come.' Siobhan Evans mused as the three remaining Evans' explored the sights and sounds of London. Lily rolled her eyes. Her father on seeing this; shot her a look but didn't say anything. It was Petunia's loss anyway. Missing out on one of those summer days from early childhood. The ones were the sun couldn't be brighter, the sky bluer. Those days where they seemed like they could go on forever.

'We are not going to let anything get in the way of us celebrating our Head Girl's brilliance.' Her father wrapped on arm around her and squeezed. Lily mocked frowned as she flushed.

'It's nothing really Dad.'

'Nonsense. And you as our daughter are obliged to let us embarrass you.' He pinched her cheek jokingly.

'Is that why you had kids?' She asked sarcastically.

'Yes.' Her parents answered as one. Her jaw dropped. Then rolled her eyes. Her parents laughed at her. Her Dad ruffling her hair affectionately.

'Now that we are done mocking our youngest, where would she like to go?'

Lily grinned childishly and jumped a little.

'Dinosaurs!'

'The Natural History Museum it is.'

No matter what, the Natural History Museum would always be the most magical place in London to her. So much mystery and intrigue. Sure Diagon Alley took over for a spell but Lily never forgot her first love. For a while she skipped jokingly alongside her laughing parents. Then she slowed. Unnerved.

It took Lily a moment to understand the feeling that settled in her gut. Her parents were oblivious to the change in atmosphere. She ran ahead of her parents as a flash of a black cloak caught her eye.

' _Run. Get out of here.'_ She hissed at her parents. But it was too late.

A tall figure was rising into the air. Shrouded in a long black cloak. The air was tense and Lily knew something awful was about to happen. The hood hiding the man's face lowered without aid. In the moment she laid eyes on him, she could not be sure he _was_ a man. His skin so unnaturally pale it was translucent. The skin too tight, slits instead of a nose and a lipless mouth. He continued to rise in the air, just in front of the main entrance to the Museum. Lord Voldemort.

Her parents grabbed her just as he raised his wand. Lily grabbed for hers, not knowing if she could do anything.

Just as he threw his entire body into the movement of her wand she cast the most powerful shield charm she could think of.

The moment when his spell took effect appeared in slow motion. Stone and glass erupting as though there had been a torrent of pressure behind it radiated out. The blast knocked her parents down and out cold. Her spell prevented the worst of the trauma. The shards and chunks that flew at them turned to a fine sparkling dust as they hit her shield. How she remained upright was beyond her.

Lily was just grateful she could, the only thing to protect her parents.

As the dust settled she saw the group that had assembled ahead of her. All shrouded like the wizard ahead of her.

And they were focused on her.

Voldemort sank to the group, bare feet impervious to rumble beneath him. It seemed such a bizarre thing for her to notice. Barefoot? Surely that was unwise. Unlike his face they were almost too human. She took tiny step forward.

It was then she saw his eyes.

A dark and unsettling red. Not Gryffindore red. The red of boiling dragons blood. So dark and rich. An unknown power in their core, dangerous.

Glaring at her.

Her wand twitched and he flicked his wand. Lily found herself almost completely paralyzed. The only things she could move were her eyes. Watching as he stepped forward.

'Who has joined us?' He asked. Voice high and unnerving. Domineering and full of raging power. One Death Eater stepped towards him. Dropping their head respectfully.

'A Mudblood my lord. Of Hogwarts age. Lily Evans.' The voice was disconcertingly female. Alluring, low and all things feminine. Which clashed with the disgust in the words.

'Thank you Black.' Black? As in Sirius' cousin? A part of her mind wondered. He walked towards her and her family.

No, not walked. _Stalked_. Lily in that moment had never felt more like prey. And she was bloody terrified. Not at all ashamed to admit that. Only a true idiot wouldn't be.

He moved around the back of her, no doubt examining her "lineage". Blood was seeping out from the wreckage. Screams and yells of panic muffled from the inside. And a tiny prone hand, clutching a dust and blood sodden dinosaur. Tears fell from her eyes. A finger swept one away. The digit so cold that it felt like her cheek had been slashed open.

'I had heard you were powerful, and beautiful.' He laughed. The noise ripped through the air and her head. 'Then again, for one of your…' He examined her body closely. Leaving her to feel disgusting. ' _Lineage._ A little must go a long way.'

The Death Eaters laughed and jeered. Throwing insults and making comments about her.

 _Probably best I can't move now_. She thought. All she wanted to do was to lash out at the man in front of her. And kneeing him in the nuts was hardly going to go down well.

 _Would be perfectly satisfying though._

A sound close to a laugh escaped her stilled lips and the air froze.

Those eyes moved in close to hers. So close she could see that he had no eyelashes. They were burning at her now. Her skin even felt over heated in the wake of that stare.

'You dare laugh at your superiors?' He hissed. Lily wasn't sure, but it felt more like a true hiss. That of a snake, not one a normal person could create.

'Let me punish her! The Mudblood is not worth your time!' Ms. Black sounded deranged. A single look from Voldemort silenced her.

'I approve of your bloodlust Bellatrix, but obedience is key.'

With that warning he released her from her paralysis. She collapsed to her knees. The spell had apparently dulled her body's reactions. Even breathing felt sluggish. She gasped for air. Laughter echoed in the air. She glared up at him.

'As is respect _Miss Evans._ ' He grabbed her face with one hand. The cold once again stabbed through her face. He pushed her back, hard. So hard that she smacked into her father.

'Time for a lesson in respect.' Lily fought down the whimper. She knew what was about to happen. Her chest heaved.

' _Crucio!'_

From dead nerves to unending pain along them. The howl that ripped from her throat was more like a wounded animal then human. Her body jerked and convulsed. Time stretched to an eternity of hell. Overwhelming stabbing lights exploded in her eyes. Her muscles tensed and contracted beyond their means. The pain went down straight through her bones. It was light a million paper cuts dosed with acid.

Then a voice echoed in her head.

' _ **LILY!'**_

Most certainly not her own internal voice. Someone elses, how it had come to her she didn't know but it gave her hope. A tiny bubble of light.

Then the overwhelming agony stopped. She sobbed silently. The din of jeers and celebration grew. She rolled over onto her side, curling up.

'This is what happens when you disrespect me.'

No part of her was free from aching. But one part was decidedly different. More pressure then pain. Long, hard cylinder against her hip.

 _My wand._

Only her left hand could reach it without notice. She had one hope and the chances of it working were miniscule.

But her family was there. Petunia would never forgive her if they died at the hands of magic.

She sobbed harder. Partly as a cover but mostly because she couldn't stop.

The very tips of her fingers grazed it. Lily took a deep breath and focused on her happiest memories.

 _Not Sev._

 _Her parents. Petunia. Getting her wand. Making friends. Learning magic. Her friends. The freedom of quidditch. Finally finding balance with James Potter._

Her heart squeezed.

With everything in her being she willed her patronus to find whoever could help her. _Find that voice._ She willed it with everything she had left in her.

Then she lost consciousness.

She came too gasping. Forcefully flipped over and her head was jerked towards him.

' _Imperio.'_ The pain evaporated. She could almost say she was happy. Lily was oblivious to her pain; physical and emotional. Wasn't that happiness was?

 _Ignorance is bliss._

' **Stand up.'** The request came from somewhere far away. Seemed an odd thing to ask. Just to ask her to do that. Her body felt disjointed but it started to obey, slowly. Turning onto her front. It was like Lily was watching herself do it.

' **Stand up!'** The order more forceful this time. It was even odder.

Why though? Why was she listening to the voice?

' **Stand!'**

No. She wasn't going to do that.

' _ **Stand!'**_

'NOOOOO!' The world around her snapped back into focus.

'Impressive. I was not expecting so much of you.' Voldemort sounded contemplative. Lily's eyes rolled into the back of her head, but did not black out.

She managed to open her eyes properly. Voldemort was twirling his wand in between his long bone thin fingers. The look in his eyes scared to her very core. His eyes were no longer burning but glowing thoughtfully.

'I am going to extend you a rare offer Miss. Evans.'

A shocked murmur rippled through the Death Eaters. They were swiftly silenced by Voldemort.

'Miss Lily Evans, this is a formal invitation to the Death Eaters, where you can shed the shame of your heritage and be reborn. Reborn into a life of power and respect. Will you join us?'

Lily rolled over, subtle pushing her wand back into her jeans. Slowly, so slowly lifting herself up. Every little movement sent massive shockwaves of pain though her. She looked down at her parents. Still unconscious. In that moment she knew. Snatching her wand and pointing it at him she snarled.

'Fuck no.'

'You will regret this.' He raised his wand up to her.

'Ah now surely you can take no for an answer?' An unexpected voice called out from her right.

 _James?_

James Potter was casually walking towards the group. Decked out in his finest robes.

'Manners maketh the man and all.'

'James Potter.' Another Death Eater supplied, their voice distorted.

James rushed over to her. Trying to ascertain how badly hurt she was. His eyes were rife with concern and fear.

'Does he care for the Mudblood? A pureblood can do better.' James tossed a nasty look but surprisingly didn't challenge him. His hazel eyes ripped straight back to her. One hand squeezed her bicep just a bit. He was trying to tell her something. Her mind was too foggy and muddled by the pain to comprehend it. He looked down to her parents.

'Blood means nothing. Actions mean everything.' James held his wand loosely in his hand.

'Blood purity is all.' Voldemort and the Death Eaters spoke together.

'Right.' James rolled his eyes. 'The incest and inbreeding speaks of superiority.' Lily wavered slightly on her feet. His arm wrapped around her waist and steadied her.

'I am willing to offer you the same invitation as your lovely friend. Despite your family's oddities.'

'I'm rather proud of that. Besides according to Magical History my blood may not be as pure as you might think. Potter comes from a relative's enthusiasm for pottery. He helped the lives of many non-magic's as he'd call them. So my answer is the same as Lily here. _Fuck no._ ' He smiled as charmingly as he could. The red eyes burned once more.

'And do you honestly believe that two teenagers can defeat me? Lord Voldemort the most feared and powerful wizard ever born?'

'You may be feared, but you are not the most powerful wizard.' Lily spoke up. Her voice hoarse but overwhelmingly audible in the silence.

'And we're not alone.' In a moment the world erupted around them both. James pulled her down and did his best to shield her and her family. A barrage of spells flew in overhead. Most of the Death Eaters were taken out in the initial attack. Voldemort snarled viciously and hurled a spell towards them. James had his back to his, he was blind to it. Lily gripped her wand and focused as hard as she could.

A bubble of molten silver bloomed from its tip. It rapidly moved out and encircled the four of them. The vicious purple of Voldemorts' curse collided with her shield. It exploded with such force that James was knocked back, almost crushing Lily.

'Mr. Potter get Miss Evans and her family out of here!' Lily had difficulty focusing, but it sounded like Professor McGonagall. Another woman appeared by their side. She took a moment to examine the shield bubble. Even in her addled state, Lily would hazard a guess she was around McGonagalls' age.

'James go! Your father is waiting.' She yelled over the clamour of the battle raging around them. He nodded taking hold of Lily and her parents. He closed his eyes and frowned murmuring something under his breath. A faint blue glow emanated from his cloak. And they were whisked away. The last thing she saw were the pair of burning blood red eyes.

* * *

Fleamont Potter was not the man she was expecting him to be. He was short and jovial. Brilliant, but a little dotty. He liked to sit with her Dad and ask endless questions about the muggle world. They had been at Potter Manor for about a week. Though the first few days were a little blurry. She had spent some time in St. Mungos, none of which she remember. Mrs. Potter had recommended she be moved to Potter Manor for security and health concerns. With Mr. Potters expertise and Mrs. Potters skills as an Unspeakable no one had argued. Petunia had been allowed to see her after they moved. She had pitched an ungraceful fit. Something about ruining her day and killing their parents.

The image of James and Black lifting her and either side and carrying her away was a particular joy to her.

Fleamont or Monty as Dad had christened him also liked to explain the potions he was administrating to her. Apparently the boys had mentioned that she was one of the finest potioneers in their class. Lily enjoyed her time with him. He was not so skilled with potions as he was instinctual. It was though he could sense the nature of the ingredients' and how they would interact with one another.

'Lily-flower, light of my life!' Lily looked up from her essay to see Sirius leaning against the doorframe.

'Sirius the eternal thorn in my side!' She responded in kind. Rolling the essay up and neatly placing her work aside, she cleared a space for Sirius to sit.

'How's our other Head doing today?' And sit he did, somehow managed to flop on the bed with grace.

'Good.' She smiled as he stretched across her legs.

'Feel like going for a meander?'

'Pleeeeease!'

'Well then it is time you got a tour of this fine house. And it just so happens I am the best tour guide that has ever lived.' He stood and bowed jokingly. Lily giggled lightly.

'Is there anything that you are not the best at?'

'Clearly being a student.' James commented entering the room. Sirius turned to him affronted.

'I am one of the best.'

'But not _the_ best.' Lily scooted off the bed and gently stood up. Her legs were still a bit weak.

'Or you would be Head Boy and not me.' James went to help Lily. She frowned at him a bit. He backed off but remained close. Sirius huffed, tossing his long hair over his shoulder. Lily was sure that he was muttering about the fact that he was still the handsomest one.

'Dad said you're going to have to take it easy for a while. The muscle relaxant and nerve rejuvenating potions take their toll.' He reminded her gently. Lily took a few shaky steps before both of them linked arms with her. The paralyzing spell hadn't killed her nerves, but the nerve impulses were several weakened. Her legs had been the worst affected. The reactions in her face and upper torso had quickly returned. Mr. Potter had assured her that she would be back to full strength in time for Hogwarts and more importantly the quidditch season.

'Now let us be proper gentlemen and escort you around.' They looked down at her. She sighed, acquiescing to their ridiculousness.

'Now this lovely estate dates back to the late 12th century. Linfried of Stinchcombe to be precise. He was the relative who adopted his nickname from his muggle friends as the family name.' Sirius spoke in the most British voice she had ever heard. It was the sort of accent that would blend in perfectly with the royal family.

'The potter?' She turned to James curiously. He nodded pausing at an old painting.

'Linfried himself.' Sirius started talking about the sacred 28 families and random trivia about the background on magical lineage. Lily struggled not to yawn. James nudged her knowingly. Lily looked up at the painting. He was sleeping. Head lolling backwards and drooling slightly. A cauldron bubbled lazily in the back next to a collection of homemade pottery. All kinds of pottery, stemming from the crude to stunning. Linifred himself was medium height, silver hair still thick on his head and two little marks on his nose. There wasn't much resemblance to his many times great grandson, but the careless splaying of him limbs was similar.

They wandered through the massive house. Lily hadn't seen much outside of her room in the past few days. Her Mum hadn't understated the beauty and elegance of the house. Large curved staircases swept down into the foyer. Only a few paintings and decorative pieces were on display. But there were hundreds of family pictures.

'Awww!' Lily leaned down to look at one of baby James. Who had decided to play in a cauldron.

'That is a particular favourite of mine too.' Both Sirius and Lily looked up at James who was blushing violently and still trying to look nonchalant. Even at such a young age, one was Lily's guess had an unruly head of hair. And the mischievous look in his bright eyes.

'Yes yes I was adorable, can we move on?' The pair exchanged amused looks.

'Fine, lead on Mr. Potter.' She gestured at him, biting down on a giggle. There was a pop from around them and a tiny house elf neatly dressed in a suit stood behind them.

'Master James, Master Sirius and' the elf bowed deeply 'Miss Lily.' The boys looked as confused as she felt at that display.

'Yes Bobby?' James released her arm and knelt down to the elf.

'Mistress Potter and Mistress Evans wish for you to join them for lunch.' Bobby twirled and popped out again. James stood up and shrugged. Lily had met a number of house elves in her time. Most of them Hogwarts ones and another who was aligned with the Bones' family. They had not been dressed in clothes or quite so well spoken.

'They're free. Mum made sure that all our elves have as much access to education as they want. Bobby is a wonderful public speaker. Bibsy is amazing at potions. They are all so talented.'

'And even sneakier than us!' Sirius was equal parts proud and awkward. Lily looked at him with narrowed eyes.

'They've pulled pranks on you guys?'

'Yes.' The boys nodded. They fiddled with their hair simultaneously. She examined them avoiding her look. James raked a hand through his hair. Sirius' left foot twitched. Her mind raced.

'Wait the Slytherin Hair incident…. Was that them?' The boys both looked annoyed but pleased. Lily laughed, her ribs hurting slightly.

'Brilliant.'

'Lunch, I am famished. How does Mum figure it out?' Sirius took her other arm and they took her down to the dining room. Or rather James' definition of one. Lily would say it was more of a hall, a Grand Hall at that.

Her Mum rushed over to her and held her face in her hands.

'Oh you look so much better, my brave girl.'

'That's putting it lightly.' Euphemia Potter stood up. James may have gotten his wild hair and easy going mannerism from his father but his eyes, slim tall frame and inherent grace was from her. Her long hair was snow white with a single remaining streak of dark red. She almost glided over to her. Lily found herself overwhelmingly nervous and awestruck. She was dressed in blue robes that gently faded from periwinkle to a dark midnight blue. Though clearly older she was still striking. High cheek bones and large eyes. Even the lines on her face emphasised her delicate features.

'Running into that situation and then despite being given an opportunity to save yourself, defy Voldemort…' Sirius moved towards the table and winked at Lily. He did some sort of complicated hand gesture which had James glaring. 'Astounding. Sirius stop it please.' Sirius pouted sadly. Siobhan looked between mother and son. She wandered over to Sirius and sat down with him.

James sat down opposite them and started talking with them.

'Sirius is a handful, but he is a joy of a son.' Euphemia beamed at the other boy she adopted as her own. Sirius winked roguishly at the women. Siobhan didn't know what to make of it, blushing a little. Euphemia just reached over and ruffled his hair like any mother would. Sirius mocked panicked over his hair. James laughed loudly leaning back on his chair. There was a bang. James had to quickly right himself. SIobhan reached out and steadied his shoulder. He smiled gratefully at her and glared at his mate.

'They've both mentioned you. James more so.' She smirked a little. Lily tucked her hair behind her left ear.

'Oh don't be so bashful. These things happen. You are a stunning girl and brilliant. My son has excellent taste.'

'Oh.' What was she supposed to be say to that?

'Now on to lunch!' She clapped her hands. 'And to get the men down here.'

'We're already here m'dear.' Fleamont and her father stepped into the hall from seemingly nowhere.

'Honestly Lily you understated how amazing all this could be!' Lily sat down and rolled her eyes. Her father laughed loudly, slapping Fleamonts shoulder.

'Your daughter still has much to see and learn about this world. It is a wonderful journey she has ahead of her. Sam, enjoy watching her traverse it.'

" _Has" excellent taste? Oh shut up Lily._

* * *

" **SHUT UP!"**

Lily struggled to breathe. Her duvet and sheets were tangled around her. Petunia was stomping around her room. Quite infuriated with whatever Lily had done in her sleep. She slowly sat up, trying to free herself. She swung her legs over the side of her bed looked for her potions.

She frowned at her legs, trying to move them slowly. It was frustrating. And humiliating. The other day she collapsed apropos of nothing. And into a massive pile of horse crap. If the wind blew just right, she would swear she could still smell it. Lily smacked her leg in aggravation and growled. The neatly arranged series of potions were just insult to injury. Mr. Potter had left strict instructions for her. What potions to take in what order and what time.

He even promised to teach her how to brew them herself.

" _Slughorn's good, but some of these potions are my own design. Be sure to tell him that you are learning how to brew them. He'll be ever so pleased."_ The slight relish in the words lead Lily directly to the person she imagined fostered James' prankster side. She just wished for one vial of dreamless potion.

He didn't think that any potion would help her. He said that he knew without a doubt that her dreams had answers for her. Ones she hadn't even asked the questions for yet. She really did like Fleamont Potter, but his Zen means of life was driving her barmy.

She downed the nerve regeneration one, followed by the strengthening potion which seemed to spark on its way down. Lily burped awkwardly. The sparks that escaped her digestive tract took some getting used to. Stretching slowly, she began to exercise her still abused muscles. Anything to distract her from the remnants of her pain filled dream.

The Daily Prophet had arrived yesterday morning with the full list of the dead.

3 Aurors.

5 Trainees.

15 muggles, the youngest of which was a three year old.

Over 50 severely injured.

Lily wasn't mentioned at all in the article or any other relating to the incident. A fact for which she was immeasurably grateful.

All The Marauders had been in touch with her. Remus sent her some chocolate and advice on his charms essay. Peter told her all about his trip to Cork with his mother. Sirius moaned about apartment upkeep. James had told her that if she wanted to talk to him or either of his parents they'd be delighted. He'd also started talking about his life growing up with them. As well as wondering what in the _name of Merlin's sagging left- whoops sorry Mum_ Dumbledore was thinking making _him_ Head Boy.

He also suggested a pre seventh year party. To get moral up before they crumbled under the pressure.

 _Such a positive thinker aren't I Lils? _

All the letters made her smile, but none so much as James'. It was a pleasant distraction from Petunia's hissy fits and Snape. And her dreams. After 20 minutes of stretching and wincing she trudged down the stairs.

'LILS!' Mary, Marlene and Alice threw themselves at Lily. 'Ah!' She froze at the onslaught of people. Her father was chuckling from behind his paper. Petunia sniffed as she laid out the extra place settings, slowly. Very reluctantly. However there was one that she set out with precision. The girls detached themselves and eagerly went to help her Mum. Petunia checked her watch and sat down primly. She fixed her flawless lavender skirt and ice white top. Lily tried to smile but her sister just glared at her. Translation: **Keep your "freakishness" and "freak" friends in line.**

Vernon was on his way.

 _Wonderful._

'Girls.' The paper lowered and Sam stared darkly at his daughters.

'Sorry Dad.' They echoed. The doorbell rang and Petunia rose and left the room. Not before throwing her a filthy glare. Her friends scampered in clutching a rather irritated snowy white owl.

'What the-?'

'Potter is throwing a massive party!' Lily took the poor owl, petting it apologetically. The invitation which was glowing with a spectacular array of colours was hanging off the weary owls' leg. Her Dad was tilting his head at the owl. She moved into the kitchen.

'So sorry Minnie. They do get rather excitable. But I'm sure you're used to that.' She spoke quietly to the owl. Lily started to poke around the bottom shelves, looking for some of the spare owl treats she had stashed down here. Her mum pulled over a chair and climbed up, looking in the top shelf of the only open cabinet.

'Why Minnie?' She asked passing over a small pack to her. 'Thanks Mum.' She opened the pack and offered some to Minnie.

'James has a rather interesting relationship with Professor McGonagall. Insists on calling her Minnie. In third year after a rather tragic incident to his last owl his stormed into class with Minnie and had a naming ceremony.'

'He named the owl after your House Head? The boy is charming but odd. Much like my youngest.' Lily took the letter and opened the window. Minnie waited patiently.

'Ah he insisted on an RSVP didn't he?' She asked the owl leaning against the countertop. Minnie hooted quietly.

The girls appeared in the doorway, acting most demurely. Lily opened the letter and a shower of sparks burst out of it. A dog, a wolf, a rat and a stag jumped out of them and formed a crest, much like the Hogwarts one. The boys were indeed throwing a pre-NEWT party.

 _A send off to Mr. Prongs who has now become a rule following authority prat._

 _Messers Moony, Wormtail and Padfoot always suspect he had an entirely inappropriate soft spot for Minnie, but this is just the ultimate betrayal._

 _Mr. Prongs has declared that at long last his love for the most bespectacled and tight bunned witch that ever was has consumed him. For shame._

 _So come along to The Potter Manor for one last evening of fun and debauchery before we all lose our collective heads._

 _See you on Friday around eight Ms. Lily Evans._

 _(Dress code is stunning)_

 _The Marauders._

The letter flashed brightly and a lily bloomed in a new shower of sparks. The parchment doubled in her hand.

'Quite a display.' Her mother commented putting the pancakes out on heated plates.

'Those are the boys for you.' A quill slid out from the middle of the two sheets. The RSVP consisted of two options, "yes" and "OF COURSE I WILL BE THERE I AM NO FOOL". She ticked "yes" but the tick appeared in the other box. Sirius had too much time on his hands these days. The letter folded itself and zoomed over to Minnie and the ribbon attached to the letter. Her mother blinked at the display, impressed. Lily pursed her lips and arched her eyebrow.

'Nice work Mr. Black, but mine is better.' Siobhan stared at her daughter.

'Sirius and I are a smidge competitive when it comes to Charms.' She took the plate of rashers, sausages and other breakfast things into the dining room. The girls were chatting happily with her Dad. Vernon Dursley and Petunia looked out of place.

'Quite the invitation.' Marlene grinned manically.

'Very them.' Alice agreed taking a plate of pancakes. Mary took rashers, sausages and a bucket load of toast. Petunia just had toast. And Vernon had everything. Marlene nodded impressed, but disgusted.

Vernon decided that Marlene's conversation starter about Friday was not worth anyone's time and started talking about drill bits.

Alice and Marlene who were still relatively new to muggle things tried to be interested. Mary blinked heavily and turned to her Dad. She peered at the crossword over his shoulder. Lily snagged the maple syrup and poured a generous helping over her pancakes and rashers. Petunia rolled her eyes and Lily grinned.

'So "stunning" what does that mean?'

'I half expected him to use "fabulous!"' Lily laughed, waving her hands around. The others giggled nodding in agreement. Even her parents seemed to agree with her sentiment.

'Is that why you guys are here?'

'Yup!'

'Oh good, now we know what your Head Girl present is!' Her Mum smiled happily. 'Get whatever you want. The whole outfit.' Petunia looked affronted at this gift but Lily caught the faint glimmer of pride in her eyes. She shrugged.

'Yeah. But what the hell is stunning?' She pulled a face.

'Anything but pink.' Her mother and the three girls stated bluntly. Lily rolled her eyes. SHe knew full well the limitations with her hair colour. She wasn't a fool. And she never wore pink.

'Perhaps you should shower and get dressed, before you put a dent in my savings.' Sam frowned at the crossword.

'Gamete.' Alice exclaimed throwing her hands up in the air. '3 down.'

'The Hogwarts curriculum is very broad.' He marveled. Lily tilted her head impressed. Marley looked bewildered.

'I read.' Alice shrugged and hid behind her tea. Lily stood up slowly.

'I supposed I'll get ready then.' Her right foot went numb and she stumbled awkwardly. Her limbs had become sluggish over breakfast. Nearly everyone looked at her in concern and worry. She waved them odd and plodded up the stairs. If someone else could just treat her normally.

Like James and Sirius had.

* * *

Lily was taking in warm sunshine, her sunglasses hiding her flickering eyes. Diagon Alley was packed. It wasn't comfortable for her she was feeling claustrophobic. As well as ridiculously exposed. Muggle London hadn't been that bad. From what she had overheard Mrs. Potter flooing with the boys, the crowd who watched her agony and mocked it, were here. Taking a slow breath she leaned forward and took the menu.

'I'll have the Death by Chocolate.' The girls all flinched. Marley blinked and leaned forward. Her dark brown hair slipped from its loose bun. Alice went inside with the menus, ignoring all of them offering her the money. Mary arched a perfectly shaped blonde eyebrow at Marlene.

'Are you okay? You haven't been yourself lately.' Lily couldn't look at either of them. Instead she stared up the street. Her left arm was numb once again.

'I'm not sure what to do about it. And I can barely remember it. Flashes, pain and of course my bloody body betraying me.' Her voice remained at the same level but the words were escalating in rage. Her chest heaved and she had to focus.

'You were so brave.' Alice appeared her uncle in tow. The ice cream was a mountain on the floating tray. Milkshakes thrown in. 'I doubt I ever could.' She sat down next Lily and grabbed her hand. Lily smiled sadly.

'With the right incentive anyone is capable of _anything._ Stop talking yourself down Allie. You are one of the bravest people I know.' Alice didn't look up just drank some of her bright pink "sparking strawberry" milkshake.

'So you guys happy with the dresses?' Mary asked after a few minutes of restless silence.

'Oh definitely.' Marlene smiled dramatically and stretched much to the pleasure of the boys next to them. She gave them a withering glare and Mary added the finger. Lily laughed. Mary turned to preening McKinnon.

'Yes, you are making a political statement?'

'Yes. A pureblood going in muggle clothes. If any of those right wingers are there then I shall cause quite the hubbub.'

'I'm just impressed you're managing a "political statement" with both generous leg and cleavage.' Lily mused taking an absolute sinful bite of ice cream.

'I'm a woman of many talents.'

The girls enjoyed their ice cream and the last few remaining hours of sunshine. Lily watched them all wonderingly.

Mary with her blonde hair, bright blue eyes and never wavering confidence and joy.

Marlene with her dark brown, almost black hair with eyes to match and her larger than life attitude.

Alice and her light sandy brown hair, amber eyes and that singular quiet strength that she herself always missed.

Would it always be like this?

No. Lily had already changed so much that summer, in ways that still eluded her. None of them were innocent anymore. All of them had bought wand holsters that afternoon and strapped them on immediately. Marlene had insisted on Lily and Mary buying a variety of protection charms for their families. The people around them though at their ease were not completely relaxed. Eyes much like Lily's shifted back and forth restlessly. The entrance to Knockturn Alley was given a wide berth.

And in a few weeks they were back at Hogwarts.

She thought back to 11 year old Lily, worlds away from the woman turning 18 in short order. The excitement, the joy. Having Snape tell her all about the castle and its wonders.

Now she was fighting for her family's life, her own right to be a witch and Snape was on his way to being her enemy.

It was so much easier back then.

* * *

Lily hovered in her room, trying to ignore the sparks and bubbles now coming from her mouth, nose and ears. Getting ready whilst potions where wrecking havoc with her body was just beyond her. As a bubble exploded in a shower of spark she sighed.

She really had to mail Mr. Potter. This could not be normal. A prank? She wouldn't put it past the boys. They were insisting on distracting her. If the challenge to a charms off was any indication.

Lily was going to _crush_ Black.

She grabbed her wand and started curling it. Her dress was hanging on the other side of the room. It was very unlike her. She tended towards simple. This was, something.

A strapless, corseted dress with intricate beading that shimmer gold. The fabric was a creamy gold that practically lit up when any light hit it. She had been frogmarched to the till to buy it. Lily stared at her reflection blankly.

Bright red hair.

Pale, pale skin. Veins visible every so often.

A smattering of freckles from the recent sun exposure.

Tense lips.

Large green eyes with dark shadows underneath, black blue and purple.

She looked so tired and drained.

Fingers perpetually stained with ink.

She traced the rim of the pep-up potion James had sent earlier.

 _Dad is ensuring you have a GOOD time, no not good THE BEST! Please don't break the old man's heart Evans, he is over 100._

 _Your pain in the ass._

Lily had started pinning all messages from her friends that made her smile. She put them above her desk. If she had a bad moment… There they were.

Joy.

Warmth.

Love.

She took the potion in hand. Toasted the note with it.

'Cheers Potter.' In that instant she felt a million times better. Even her hair seems to spring up. The dark circles vanished and her skin tone evened out. She tinged all over.

'Right!' She hopped up and gathered her makeup. Lily had been procrastinating on getting ready for some time that afternoon. In the space of 20 minutes she was completely ready and skipping down the stairs. She summoned her cloak and shoes and waited for Mary patiently. Siobhan walked in and gasped.

'Oh, my girl all grown up! Sam get the camera.' Lily rolled her eyes. Siobhan looked down at the heels pointedly. Lily leaned down and pulled on the shoes. She smiled obligingly for the camera. A firm knock came from the front door.

'Oh my house so full of lovely ladies, a dream come true.' Siobhan rolled her eyes. Sam kissed her gently. 'None so lovely as my wife of course.' Mary rushed in, decked out in her full length violet dress. Her hair was up, revealing a graceful neck, emphasised by the long silver earrings. Her blue eyes looked almost purple thanks to the dress and subtle make up.

'You two are so cute.' She gushed linking arms with Lily.

'We know.' Remus stepped into the room nodding at everyone. He looked better than the last time she had seen him. Still tired but not scarily thin. Obviously one of the boys had gifted him with new robes and he was clad in grey ones. Respectable but stylish. Not too flashy but still caught ones eye. More James than Sirius she deduced.

'Remus!' Lily pulled him into a tight hug and kissed his cheek. 'How are you?'

'Good. And congratulations Lily. You both look wonderful.' He smiled broadly, lighting up his whole face.

'He does look dashing.' Mary took his arm and posed. 'I think I'm going to have to steal him for the night.' Lily pouted making to retort but Remus cut her off. Checking an old but well loved watch he started slightly.

'We better get to it. Mrs. P organised portkeys for the muggleborn guests and those who can't apparate or don't have access to Floo. James and Sirius would have my head if we were late.' Mary sighed dramatically laying a head on his shoulder.

'Oh Mr. Lupin can't we just be fashionably late? I would so adore to spend more time alone with you.' She batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly.

'Nothing would give me greater pleasure Ms. McDonald, but we are hardly alone m'dear.'

The three teenagers wished her parents a good night and ran out to the back garden. Her Mum yelled out that there was no need for her to hurry back, Euphemia had rooms made up for the four girls.

'Have the time of your life!'

'But not too much fun!' Lily laughed at her parents bickering jokingly in the kitchen as she placed a hand on the football Remus had presented them.

The world disappeared in a whirling blur. The landing was rough but as rough as it usually was. Someone had thoughtfully cast some cushioning charms in the arrival spot. Lily slowly picked herself up. Her dislike of portkey travel had to be ingrained, genetic. It was one of the worst ways to travel. Her stomach rolled and her vision swirled.

Both Mary and Remus were taking their time to gather themselves. Mary tried not to laugh at Lily on the ground. Remus helpfully gave her a hand up. The three of them face the main entrance to the house. The girls gasped.

Small floating orbs of soft light lined the main path. Showers of gently falling confetti came down at the front door. None landed on the ground but faded away in a tiny flutter of glitter. Music barely reached them where they stood. Remus turned to them both. He bowed and turned back offering his arms. They laughed and walked up together. The flower bushes were glowing faintly. Bunting and streamers wrapped around the trees. Some were brightly colour and flashing, others simply sparkling in the low light.

'You went all out.' Lily marveled on entering the foyer. More streamers were wrapped around the banisters of the staircases. The hall was packed with people. Most of them waved and called out to the girls. Remus smiled at their reactions. Lily looked around astounded by it. A cluster of the orbs were spiralling above them. The effect was similar to that of a disco ball. Beautiful really.

'You owe us an apology Lils.' The girls stood in front of her. Alice hand in hand with Frank Longbottom. She was decked out in an emerald green dress that had a cloak incorporated into in. The sleeves of the dress were spilt showing her arms. Her hair had been set in 40s style waves. Frank was dressed in a set of black robes with green accents at the collar, sleeves and hem. They looked like the perfect pair. Marley was in a mid length black dress that scooped low with a generous split. She was staring at Lily, looking smug.

'Fine, this dress is amazing. I am a fool.' She rolled her eyes. They laughed brightly. Frank and Remus exchanged somewhat baffled looks.

'We forced her to buy the dress.' Alice explained. Mary who had not let go of Remus laughed louder. 'I've never seen Lily so bewildered.' Remus chuckled and excused himself. The others continued to giggled as Lily fumed slightly. She checked her right thigh subtly. Her wand was secure and easily accessible. It did not stop the slight worry and fear of being in such a crowd. She smiled, banishing the thought.

'I hate you all.' A loud gong rang out from the upper level of the hall. The place instantly quietened.

'Ladies and gentlemen, witches and wizards, the future of the magical world; _WELCOME!'_ The amplified voices of the four marauders boomed from that vantage.

Remus was casually leaning on the far right. Peter on the far left grinning and the other two were centre stage. Sirius was decked out in a set of robes in such a deep red they looked black. They glowed red whenever the light passed over him. The rich colour lit his eyes up so that they were piercing even from where Lily was standing. James was an entirely different story. A muggle suit. A rat pack suit. Dark navy with a white shirt and gold tie. She and Mary exchanged impressed looks.

'I didn't realise the Hogwarts Muggle Studies class was so fashion inclined.' Mary whispered. Lily shrugged equally puzzled. Marley leaned forward. 'It's not. I wish it was because _damn._ ' Her eyes flickered up and down what she could see of him. Oddly enough it rankled Lily. A feeling she was not expecting to feel. She coughed and fiddled with the clasp of her cloak. No one else seemed to notice. Except Alice. She twitched an eyebrow at her. Lily ignored it, looking up.

'Today is one of the final days of freedom we have this year!' Sirius declared loudly.

'And we intend to kick off this year with aplomb!' Peter added, nearly bouncing with glee.

'So please don't sit back or relax.' Remus winked at them.

'ENJOY!' James finishing throwing his arms out and orbs exploded in a fireworks display of red, gold, blue, bronze, silver, green and bright yellow and black. Balloons also fell down around them. One fell to each guest and popped in their hand. A ribbon of their respective house colour appeared on each wrist, with a small Hogwarts crest pinning it on.

'The sneaky git.' Lily shook her head fondly examining her band. 'Remus asked me about the appropriate charms. Under the pretense of being for homework. I will be taking credit for this.' They moved through the crowd. A crowd who were laughing and marvelling at the display.

'Evening ladies!' Peter and Sirius beamed. The kissed each of the girls on the cheek.

'Nice charm work.' Lily punched his upper arm lightly. His face rolled through a series of expressions before relenting.

'You are the Queen of Charms.' She smiled slightly, trying to look as regal as possible.

'Do I get a crown? I've always wanted a crown.'

'There will be a coronation first Charms class back.' James appeared behind her, throwing an arm around her shoulders. 'You all look stunning by way. You in particular Frank.' Frank pretended to be flustered and Alice mock glared at James.

'Get your own boyfriend Potter.' She waggled an disapproving finger at him. He held his hands up surrendering.

'He does.' Lily and Peter added pointing at Sirius. James rolled his eyes as Sirius gasped.

'They _know_ James they _know!'_

'Trying living with them 9 months of the year.' Remus deadpanned. The nine of them collapsed in laughter. Most of the crowd had followed new orbs into the Dining Hall. Loud music blared from it.

'Are those the Exploding Cauldrons?' Marley exclaimed excitedly.

'Yeah. They owed Dad a favour.' He turned and steered them all towards the hall.

'You owe me that story.' Lily poked his side.

'All in good time.' He winked, taking her cloak and walking her in.

* * *

Several hours later Lily sat outside by the large pond, shoes off and feet in the water. She had cast a warming charm. So the air was pleasant and she didn't need her cloak.

'Evans.' James plonked down next to her, crown falling off his head.

'Potter.' She greeted him. Plucked up his crown and compared it to her own.

'I had no clue about the crowning ceremony.'

'I got that from the rather constipated expression on your face. I did think that Macmillan wanted to strangle you.' James chuckled and Lily smiled at him. He stared ahead up at the twinkling sky above. She stared at the crowns, red and gold obviously. Head Boy and Head Girl shimmering on them both. Though every so often 'Boy' changed to 'Prick'.

'Oh he does. Something I never thought a Hufflepuff would go for.'

'Like I said to Alice, in the right situation anyone is capable of _anything._ '

'That is _not_ reassuring Lillian.' He nudged her shoulder.

'Oh is that the bit we're doing? I messed it up sorry go back.' She patted his hand and rolled her hand at him.

'You needed a break from the people?'

'Small one. Hopefully you're not offended.'

'Nah. Why do you think I'm here?'

'You couldn't resist me?' They both laughed. He lay down and smiled lazily at her. Lily scooted out of the water, dried her lags.

'Nice.' Lily glared at him. He shrugged raising his eyebrows.

'I am still a teenage bloke. You saw the reaction Marlene got inside. You can't flash thigh at me, with a wand holster, and not expect me to devolve somewhat.' She fell back to lie next to him.

'Fair enough.'

The moon was just a sliver in the sky. But the stars were brilliant. He turned and looked at her somewhat amused.

'Two years ago you would have kneed me for that.'

'Two years ago I wouldn't have done anything close to that in a 50 foot radius near you.'

'Things change.'

The music was faint out here, but still audible enough to create an atmosphere around them. Little bits of the confetti floated out towards them. She flew at couple watching them fade into glitter.

'The decorations are beautiful.'

'Thanks, Mum helped a lot.'

'I don't think she helped so much.'

James ignored that comment. Lily sat up and picked up his left arm checking the time. She curled her legs up under her and wrapped her arms around her. He sat up and took off his jacket and put it on her. She tried to protest but he just waved her off. While she hadn't been cold before, now she was delightfully warm. He unbuttoned his shirt sleeves and rolled them up. He fiddled with the ribbon on his wrist. Lily frowned at the look on his face. It was forlorn, almost depressed. She turned towards him. He stared out past the pond into nothingness.

'It's just, after this year… Things change. And I'm worried.'

'About?'

'Remus. Peter. Sirius. My parents. This mess of a war. Remus knows his chances of employment are slim. Pete's worried about being alone and Sirius… well he's two inches from the ledge.'

He took off his glasses, holding the limply in his left hand. For almost the entire time she had known James he was positivity defined. Now in this moment, he just looked lost.

'You guys are always there for each other. I doubt that'll ever change.' She moved over next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

'Then the war.'

'Yeah that.' Her fists clenched.

'Some party talk.' He tried joking but it fell flat.

They sat in silence for a while, music becoming slower and sweeter around them. James took her hand and squeezed it.

'I never thanked you.' She whispered, looking down at their hands. His seemed so much bigger then hers. Chasers hands. Strong and sure.

'For what?'

'Coming for me and my parents. How did you know?' She looked up at him as he froze. He put his glasses back on. Looked down at her in confusion.

'Your patronus.'

'Oh. So that's where it went.' His forehead knotted. 'I was so out of it that I just wished it to someone who could help. I willed it to…' She trailed off trying to remember the voice.

'To…'

'A voice, I heard someone calling me.' She glanced at him, blushing and looking away. She could feel him thinking. Taking in her hesitance and blushing.

'Mine?'

'I think so? But it can't have been. You weren't there yet.'

'Hm.' James huffed a laugh. She looked at him curiously. 'Dad always says that magic leads you in unexpected and predestined ways.'

'Predestined?' She struggled not to scoff. Sounded like Divination nonsense. Lily had always believed that her path was what she made it.

'Yeah I know. I think it's an age thing...'

'Who uses that excuse more? You or him?' She asked slyly. James took a moment to think about. The bobbing of his head indicating a mental calculation of some kind.

'I'd say about 50:50. Mum saves them for zingers.'

Lily buried in deeper into the jacket. She tugged down the hem of her dress. A couple of gold orbs floated over head lighting them up just a tad. James eyes seemed almost as golden in the light. She watched the orbs bob and dance around their heads.

'Did Sirius tell you I invited the Slytherins as well?'

'Yeah he did, but I already knew. Snape told me.'

'He still talks to you?'

'Only when he knows his buddies aren't around.'

'For what it's worth, I'm sorry.'

'Wasn't your fault. Things were going to come to a head sooner rather than later. You just sped things up a bit. And there are a few of them inside.' She pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them.

'You were furious at me to _aaaages._ ' He stretched his legs out and leaned on his right arm. She smiled closing her eyes.

'You were a convenient scapegoat. I'm sorry for taking my anger at him out on you.' He looked across at her chuckling slightly. Lily couldn't help but feel affronted.

'Don't pout Evans. I was just thinking how funny life can be.' She tilted her head. And waited for him to continue. 'Two years ago you could barely stand the sight of him. You would actually vibrate with irritation. No seriously you would. I was hyper observant of you at the time. And now look at us.'

He leaned over and kissed her cheek, earning a giggle.

'See you would have smacked me for that.' His eyes narrowed in thought. 'You _did_ smack me for that.'

'No Black dared you to _lick_ my cheek. He also got a slap for that.'

'His cheek was red for _days._ I have pictures.' James looked whimsically smug. For most this would be too hard a look to pull off. Somehow he managed it well.

'Hyper observant eh? Is that a euphemism for stalker-ish tendencies?' She asked mischievously. They giggled. James would argue that he chuckled.

Lily tilted her hair back and looked up at the sky. Some of the orbs were not shining in muted multicoloured tones. She reached up and poked one. It spun and burst in into a flurry of glittèr. But just as they reached her head they flew up and reformed into the orb.

'So you're okay with me being Head Boy?' He asked refusing to meet her gaze. She sighed. Lily had to struggle against rolling her eyes.

'For the last time, _yes._ If you keep asking I won't be but I digress. Look at what you've done today.' She stood up and pulled him up. She pointed up at the house where you could see a large group of people dancing. A few people were outside on benches. Some couples were not so sneakily wandering off. They just were. No houses or divisions.

'Do you see anyone fighting? Avoiding each other? _You_ brought them together. That's what you do. People look up to you. Stop the self doubting routine, it really doesn't suit you.' She leaned into him, resting her head against his upper arm. She felt James taking a deep breath. His shoulders dropped on the exhale. He wrapped an arm around her as one of hers snaked around his waist.

'Thanks Lily.' Even from where they stood, they could see Sirius crowd surfing.

'Don't worry about it. It's not every day you see The Great James Potter doubt himself.'

'No really. _Thank you._ ' She looked up at him. The look in his eyes made her blush. And not just in the cheeks. Lily felt the heat flicker up from her chest and up to the top of her head.

'If I haven't said so already, you look fantastic.'

'You're not doing so badly yourself.'

'The hair lets it down somewhat.' He ruffled his hair and she giggled.

'


End file.
